Monday, July 16, 2012

50 Shades of Grey


When I heard that my group of close friends was reading 50 Shades of Grey, I knew it was my time to join in on this discussion. When I first heard about the series of books, I downloaded the first book to my Kindle, as an option. It wasn't at the top of my summer reading list, but I knew the day would come that I would want to embark on the tale of Christian Grey and Anna Steele.

Now, before I add my commentary, I think it’s important to understand that although I would label my friends as feminist. None of them chose to use the label the way that I chose too. Most of them don’t vocalize the problems they have with gender norms or patriarchy the way that I seem too. And most of them have taken the “F-Word” out of their vocabulary, while I have chose to say it loud and proud. I am the feminist of the group. I am not shy to say it.

Before I started the book, I couldn’t help but think this was a great step in recognizing women’s sexuality. The book, which is known for its passionate and detailed sex scenes, is selling fast off of shelves; being downloaded on to kindles, and is creating hype in the media and for women. I mean, you would think in 2012, it would be more acceptable for women to talk more openly about their sex lives. However, after this Rush Limbaugh incident of 2012, I think it’s safe to say our society still labels women who speak openly about how sexually active they are. The response this book was receiving not only had me questioning how the media was going to portray why women wanted to read this book, but also made me hope maybe this was a step forward. “Memes” surfaced on my Facebook page discussing how this was a great year to be a woman because of the movie, “Magic Mike” and the growing following of 50 Shades of Gray. All of my hopes crash and burned once I started reading.

Maybe I went in with too much hope and anticipation. Maybe I am reading with a feminist lens. But as a woman, I keep cringing as I am reading this book. For anyone who plans on reading this series – you may want to skip this next paragraph or so. For those of you who have made it this far into my rant – I congratulate you and I have complied a list of what has been running through my head as I have been reading…

Okay a brief disclosure- (Is that what this is? What’s the right term for it?). I have to admit I enjoy a good sex scene as much as the next gal. I am not knocking the fantasy behind it, I just want to point out the problems I have with it.

1.     Fantasy books/ Erotica has long existed before 50 Shades of Grey. And guess what? They will exist long after 50 Shades of Grey. It is not news that women like when a book to takes them into a world they couldn’t imagine on there own or maybe have fantasized about before. It’s not news that women watch porn or read trashy sexy novels. Flip to the back of Cosmopolitan magazine every month, and say hello to a short erotica story.  So why is it the media is portraying us as a bunch of horny broads who cannot get enough of Christian Grey?
2.     Dude, isn’t this a form of prostitution? Do I have to be the one to say it aloud? I’ve read countless articles stating how we should be happy that this book is taking erotica to a new level and allowing women to be open about there sexual needs. DID YOU ALL FORGET THE PART WHERE HE IS PAYING FOR EVERYTHING? OR THE CONTRACT? Hello? She surrenders herself over to him and she’s being rewarded as long as she pleases him. How is that pleasure when it’s like a job? She receives an allowance for clothing, beauty products/supplies, a personal trainer, and for food. He also pays for travel, and houses her Friday thru Sunday. And all of this is stated in a contract.
3.     Women have been fighting patriarchy since the beginning of the women’s movement. How is it we are condoning the acts of being submissive to men? Isn’t this what our sisters fought for? I mean, I get it, there’s nothing like being seduced by a man like Christian Grey, expect there is. A guy that would allow acting how you would like in the bedroom, and wouldn’t be so abusive. How is yelling about her diet, her exercise regiment, and wardrobe attractive? And healthy? Aren’t these the signs we are looking for in abusive relationships? We have been fighting patriarchy and the dominant male culture for decades, why isn’t this issue being discussed in the magazine articles, newspapers, and talk shows? This book falls into a never-ending category of stories that are about a dominant male and a submissive female.

I think this idea of bringing women’s sexuality to the mainstream is beautiful. And it does show a step in the right direction. However, I think it could have been done differently. I think a better book could have been chosen, or this affordable health care act could have  showcased women’s sexuality differently. I just think it’s important as women reading these novels and discussing them with our girlfriends that we don’t get swept up in the fantasy and forget about the respect we deserve and the problems we face as woman in the 21st century.




*** The one great aspect of the book I forgot to mention is Mr. Grey stops to wear protection and asks for Ms. Steele to be placed on the pill.  Save sex is great sex!

4 comments:

  1. Although I agree with the idea that women have been fighting for equality and to rid themselves of the stigma that has been placed, I must also say that this is what many marriages are, and this is also what many cultures require of their women.

    I would also like to state that so many women probably like this because they are the type to be dominant outside, as that is the type of society that we fought for, yet they enjoy being submissive in the bedroom. That and then the idea that like you said, it creates a fantasy world for many.

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  2. It is nice to see that you are addressing some important issues and seem so passionate about them. I have not read 50 Shades of Grey yet but would like to. The subject content seems to be interesting and controversial.

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  3. I'm going to snipe Tamisha's comment a bit. I have little but disdain for anything that perpetuates poor writing as entertainment (50 Shades of Grey, Twilight, etc.), but approaching the content of erotica with a feminist mindset seems overwhelming in its complexities--to the point where any meaningful discussion might get lost in the murk. That's not to say that erotica, as a part of female sexuality (and the empowerment thereof), is off-limits for discussion under a feminist lens, only that the actual content of that erotica will quickly become confused. A woman enjoying submission in a safe, sexual environment does not necessitate that woman wanting to be dominated by men in, say, a professional environment. What one finds sexually arousing in the bedroom, and what one finds socially acceptable outside of those walls, are often in great conflict. Maybe that's why it's so much fun.

    I think feminism is about being rational, about being precise in one's own words and in the meaning behind others' words. It's thought, consideration, and after-thought. Sex, and sexual fantasy, seem completely devoid of that. It is pleasure seeking, in the moment. Actions have no hidden meaning: they are just what is enjoyable and what is not. When you try to combine those two, the clash is going to be severe, and wildly misleading if you are not careful.

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  4. Andrea, I never really thought of how much this book really is demeaning women. I must admit I love 50 Shades of Grey and read every single book in the series. I always find it interesting that men can talk openly about their sexual experiences but if a woman does it is such a big deal!

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