When I heard that my group of close friends was reading 50 Shades of
Grey, I knew it was my time to join in on this discussion. When I first heard
about the series of books, I downloaded the first book to my Kindle, as an
option. It wasn't at the top of my summer reading list, but I knew the day
would come that I would want to embark on the tale of Christian Grey and Anna
Steele.
Now, before I add my commentary, I think it’s important to understand
that although I would label my friends as feminist. None of them chose to use
the label the way that I chose too. Most of them don’t vocalize the problems
they have with gender norms or patriarchy the way that I seem too. And most of
them have taken the “F-Word” out of their vocabulary, while I have chose to say
it loud and proud. I am the feminist of the group. I am not shy to say it.
Before I started the book, I couldn’t help but think this was a great
step in recognizing women’s sexuality. The book, which is known for its
passionate and detailed sex scenes, is selling fast off of shelves; being
downloaded on to kindles, and is creating hype in the media and for women. I
mean, you would think in 2012, it would be more acceptable for women to talk
more openly about their sex lives. However, after this Rush Limbaugh incident of
2012, I think it’s safe to say our society still labels women who speak openly
about how sexually active they are. The response this book was receiving not
only had me questioning how the media was going to portray why women wanted to
read this book, but also made me hope maybe this was a step forward. “Memes”
surfaced on my Facebook page discussing how this was a great year to be a woman
because of the movie, “Magic Mike” and the growing following of 50 Shades of
Gray. All of my hopes crash and burned once I started reading.
Maybe I went in with too much hope and anticipation. Maybe I am reading
with a feminist lens. But as a woman, I keep cringing as I am reading this
book. For anyone who plans on reading this series – you may want to skip this
next paragraph or so. For those of you who have made it this far into my rant –
I congratulate you and I have complied a list of what has been running through
my head as I have been reading…
Okay a brief disclosure- (Is that what this is? What’s the right term
for it?). I have to admit I enjoy a good sex scene as much as the next gal. I
am not knocking the fantasy behind it, I just want to point out the problems I
have with it.
1. Fantasy books/ Erotica has long existed before 50
Shades of Grey. And guess what? They will exist long after 50 Shades of Grey.
It is not news that women like when a book to takes them into a world they couldn’t
imagine on there own or maybe have fantasized about before. It’s not news
that women watch porn or read trashy sexy novels. Flip to the back of Cosmopolitan
magazine every month, and say hello to a short erotica story. So why is it the media is portraying us
as a bunch of horny broads who cannot get enough of Christian Grey?
2.
Dude, isn’t this a form of
prostitution? Do I have to be the one to say it aloud? I’ve read countless
articles stating how we should be happy that this book is taking erotica to a
new level and allowing women to be open about there sexual needs. DID YOU ALL
FORGET THE PART WHERE HE IS PAYING FOR EVERYTHING? OR THE CONTRACT? Hello? She
surrenders herself over to him and she’s being rewarded as long as she pleases
him. How is that pleasure when it’s like a job? She receives an allowance for
clothing, beauty products/supplies, a personal trainer, and for food. He also
pays for travel, and houses her Friday thru Sunday. And all of this is stated
in a contract.
3.
Women have been fighting
patriarchy since the beginning of the women’s movement. How is it we are condoning
the acts of being submissive to men? Isn’t this what our sisters fought for? I
mean, I get it, there’s nothing like being seduced by a man like Christian
Grey, expect there is. A guy that would allow acting how you would like in the bedroom,
and wouldn’t be so abusive. How is yelling about her diet, her exercise regiment,
and wardrobe attractive? And healthy? Aren’t these the signs we are looking for in
abusive relationships? We have been fighting patriarchy and the dominant male
culture for decades, why isn’t this issue being discussed in the magazine
articles, newspapers, and talk shows? This book falls into a never-ending
category of stories that are about a dominant male and a submissive female.
I think this idea of bringing women’s sexuality
to the mainstream is beautiful. And it does show a step in the right direction.
However, I think it could have been done differently. I think a better book
could have been chosen, or this affordable health care act could have showcased women’s sexuality differently. I just think it’s important as women
reading these novels and discussing them with our girlfriends that we don’t get
swept up in the fantasy and forget about the respect we deserve and the
problems we face as woman in the 21st century.
*** The one great aspect of the book I forgot
to mention is Mr. Grey stops to wear protection and asks for Ms. Steele to be
placed on the pill. Save sex is
great sex!
